I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Umm I'm too high to move.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
