i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
