I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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