this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
