So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
