D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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