All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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