i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
