? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
