Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She said her name was "party"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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