And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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