i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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