When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize