I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
