i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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