they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
