The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
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He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.