Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people