If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize