why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
