are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
