Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
