Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize