Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
