What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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