My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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