My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I have vodka in my lungs
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
