I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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