hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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