Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
