maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
