And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
