Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am naked and annoyed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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