roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
