Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
