my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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