so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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