And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
