He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
