The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
