why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
