my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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