Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
