hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
where does the pee come out of this thing
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
