I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
