Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it glows. i had to have it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
