Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
