dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
