Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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