no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?