i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am never drinking with the goths again.