For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.