omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now