They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
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Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?