allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.