her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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