if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making