I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
