I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
