as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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