Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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