Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
