I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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