Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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